February 21, 2012

“Stop that Chael,” she whispered, placing a soft hand on his shoulder.

Chael looked at her, his eyes filled with hope and sadness. “Stop what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know what I mean,” she chastised.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Alexa shook her head, tired of having the same conversation with him. “All this hoping and expecting is blinding you to the fact that Drew and Charlotte love each other. Deeply. And there’s nothing you can do to ruin that.”

Chael sighed and closed his eyes. “I know. Even if she has already moved on, I haven’t. I still love her.”

“But you don’t have to spend all your time waiting for that second chance that is not going to come.”

“I don’t do that,” Chael protested weakly, knowing that what he was saying was a lie. Alexa just raised an eyebrow at this, a small grin forming on her lips. He knew that she didn’t buy his bluff. “Ok, fine. I do do that. But you can’t blame me. I still think about her – her angelic laugh, her bright smile, her soft lips – ”

“Whoa there! Spare me the details,” Alexa interrupted, giggling softly, trying to lighten the mood. Hearing Chael chuckle, she took his hand and tugged at it as she started to walk towards the exit. “I’m not saying that you can’t think about her. I’m just saying that maybe you can find something else productive to do. You haven’t written a new song since you guys broke up. Maybe it’s time to foster your creativity and start writing again.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he whispered, lyrics already starting to form in his mind. Chael squeezed Alexa’s hand and smiled as they stepped out the door.

January 21, 2012

“I hate you!”

The words reveberated in my ear, stunning me and rendering me speechless. My heart constricted in pain; the brutality of his tone left no doubts in my mind that he meant what he said. All I could do was stand there and stare as he stomped away. As soon as he was out of my sight, my legs felt like jelly and I crumpled to the floor as tears ran down my cheeks.

I don’t know how long I stayed there just crying my heart out. Once the tears stopped and I regained some of my composure, I trudged to my room to hide. Thankfully, my brother hasn’t come home yet to see what happened. I don’t want him to pity me. The truth of the matter is, how ever painful it is to admit, this whole fiasco is my fault. I betrayed his trust. It was accidental but I still can’t blame him for how he feels.

I collapsed on my bed, drained from the confrontation with him. I contemplated how much time I’d give myself to feel sullen before working to repair the damage I’d done. Not a lot of time I figured. After all, I didn’t deserve to have a reprieve; it was my fault. I had to fix things as soon as possible. It was the only way to make it up to him.

As I was drifting off to sleep, I heard the faint ring of my brother’s cellphone outside my door. The last words I could hear from my brother’s side of the conversation was, “Where? Who? When? Wait for me. I’ll be there in a few.” I briefly wondered who he was talking to and what about as his tone sounded a bit frantic, but both my heart and mind were too exhausted to care at the moment. I fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.